Every few days I have to check and see about how many weeks I am… This pregnancy I seem to be really in touch with myself and how I feel etc… but the technical stuff seems to evade me…

I don’t really have a due date in mind, and I don’t want to… I just tell everyone that the baby will be here between mid November and the beginning of December… But everyone seems to want a date…so I just give them one that is in the middle somewhere…

Not having a date gives me comfort; however, knowing how many weeks I am gives me an idea of how many weeks I have left to get things done…

I still have tons to do… though I keep thinking that I have more time and keep on procrastinating what I have to get done and then when I check again to see how many weeks I am at then my mind starts racing again…

• we have to find two bureaus for the boys clothes (or one big one)… the dresser that ds#1 is using is broken and doesn’t have enough space so I can’t even pass it on to Colin… and the one that Colin is using is for the new babe (it has passed down and used for 3 generations)
• we also have to rearrange their room so that it all fits since the babe will be sharing a room with his/her big brothers. (Well technically the babe will be in our room)
• I have to make Xavier’s Halloween costume,
• get the babies clothes out and pick out the warmer clothes,
• get clothes out for Colin from Xavier’s old clothes.
• Wash the new babe’s diapers and find the covers that are somewhere in the house on various cabbage patches and other dolls…
• Prepare and Freeze more food so that I will be able to have somewhat of a babymoon without having to cook a lot.
• Finish buying birthing supplies and figure out if I want to buy a water birth pool…

There must be other things that I have to get done too…

Anyways… I am getting more and more excited about the birth. Even though I have had rough and long labors, I LOVE giving birth! I am looking forward to laboring in my own home, not having anyone there but Simon and the kids. I feel ready to have my UC and I feel confidant that it will happen.

I am also looking forward to having a babymoon after the baby is born. Staying in bed and getting to know the new babe. Simon will be on Parental leave so I really feel like I will have the time to get to know the new life that will come into our home and the boys will also be taken care of. And then later on I will be able to give attention to the boys also and Simon will be able to get to know the new little one…

A post on MDC got me thinking about the way that birth is thought about by UCer’s vs the Mainstream.

Many people on each side many believe that the other is putting themselves and their child in danger by making the birth choices that they are choosing. Personally I can see where each is coming from but of course I would more easily side with the extreme UCer.

On a post asking that was talking about the need of others to put UCer’s down because of the choices that they are making a poster said that it has to do in part with the lack of trust in others.

I read this and thought about it…

I think that the lack of trust in others is part of it but I do not think that it is the initial problem. The problem in not in the lack of trust in other people but the lack of trust in one’s self…

I see the problem being that women just don’t have the experiences of seeing how things are naturally done… in birth, breastfeeding and all of the other things that used to be taught by seeing (seeing sisters, mothers, cousins, friends, aunts etc) and trusting instinct…

Now most women seem to turn to books and “experts”… they have lost touch with the way things were and have lost touch with the confidence that comes with seeing these things throughout a lifetime, and instead have gained confidence in trusting others (books, doctors etc)

Some Women seem to have lost touch so much that they no longer trust their instincts at all and learn to put them aside and ignore them. They have lost touch completely with their selves in favour of listening to others… As a consequence they become helpless in a way… not uneducated really because they believe that the “expert” knows it all and will tell them what they need to know and they do internet searches or book searches and find the same information from other “experts”. (Though there are still some very uneducated women I believe that make very uninformed choices in pregnancy and birth) The next logical step in the slippery slope after losing that confidence in self, it is then to look for permission from the experts on most things (or for experts to “give” permission with use of certain language without giving the impression that they are taking that confidence away)

When things become normalized in a society then trust shifts… Until very recently trust within the realm of birth, breastfeeding, the raising of children was in the hands of women. Women of the community, women of the family and in the woman herself. When the shift started, and the trust was handed off to men and “experts” then not only did the trust shift but whole views shifted also. Knowledge that as once passed down from generation to generation was lost, knowledge that was once an integral part of womanhood was lost. The only way to normalize these things again is for women to regain trust in themselves and regain trust in other women that trust themselves.

At this moment I can not see it happening soon. Many women seem to not understand not trusting the “experts” on everything. Some women seem threatened by it. They have been taught, have learned from the people around them, and have learned from the women around them that the experts are to be trusted… it becomes what is normal, what it comfortable, what is to be done…

I do believe that there are some aspects of birth and health that are best handled by some experts. Though I don’t agree that we have the best experts in our society…

Our “experts” are products of the same society that puts all their trust in them. Such as many women seem to have lost touch with confidence in them selves and put all of their trust in doctors, those same doctors believe that they have all of the answers, should not be second guessed and expect the women to have little or no say in their care. This shows when women seem to be scared to talk to their “expert” doctors about doubts they have and why some doctors will be so insulted when woman goes against or second guesses their point of view (as seen by women who are “fired” by their OB’s for refusing tests, or families that are “fired” by the pediatricians for refusing vaxes)

In some places in the world premature babies are not kept in incubators, sterile environments with wires and monitors and tubes etc and deprived of human contact except for when an “expert” gives permission… Instead, they are released with their parents who are taught how to feed them and keep them warm by utilizing Kangaroo care 24 hours a day for weeks and months on end. Instead of being placed on oxygen to help them breathe they are places on their parent’s chest, instead of having monitors and machines to control heart rate, they are placed in their parents arms.

We have to start trusting nature, trusting our bodies and trusting ourselves again… when we do, I believe that birth will start seeing the shift it needs.

x-posted in my pregnancy journal

Last week I had a response to a message that I had left on the UC board at MDC… It was from mom of soon to be 8 kids that has had a few UC’s already under her belt and who lives just north of Montreal (about 2 hours drive from me). We sent a few PM’s and then we exchanged #’s and she gave me call on thursday night… Though her kids are older we have a lot in common… she is a Homeschooler, UCer, ECer, breastfeeder (she even triandem nursed!) and we just hit it off… IMO anyways…We talked for at least a hour and if it wasn’t so late I think we would have talked more..

Anyways… I was still a bit worried about what to do about registering the birth as even on the group that I had gotten info from many moms had trouble getting things done without the proof of pregnancy etc even though legally they didn’t need it… it wasn’t that they didn’t succeed in the end, it was that it was a lot of energy and arguing…

So, L. told me that before she had had her first UC she had an “illegal” homebirth with a Lay midwife and that she had kept in contact with her and that she is the one that had provided her with the papers and that though she was no longer able to do such she had knew of someone else that could probably help. So the next day I called the midwife that she had told me about. She is one of the most prominant midwifes in Quebec and is on the south shore about 40 min away from me. She answered the phone in an amazingly warm voice and I didn’t even have to finish explaining when she said that she would be glad to help me get the papers after the birth and that she would provide a letter with the proof of the birth and that it would be her pleasure to do so, and then she added that I could call her at anytime with questions or concerns and that she would even leave me her pager number so that I or Simon could give her a call if we have concerns during or after the birth.

It has taken such a load of my back knowing that not only will she helps us out but that she supports our decision to birth unassisted. She had not one negative word to say and was completely encouraging…

Well the e-mail list that I joined proved to be a very good idea… I got two responses with places to buy tinctures. One on the island of Montreal but they don’t seem to have many ready made tictures but more bulk herbs and supplies and one off island in my direction but about 1 1/2-2 hours away from me.

The second one looks amazing though and I will be able to order online or go for a drive and really look…. the place looks so nice and from the site you can even see pics of their gardens… they have tons of tinctures and even home mixes all ready made.
L’Armoire aux Herbes

I am SO excited!!!

I just got hold of a montreal group that is fighting for womens right to a midwife and to a free homebirth!!! I had done tons of searches in the past and ever found them before and now that I did I am so happy… they even have an e-mail list and everything!!

Well, I called and the woman at the end of the line was so nice… I wanted to call and ask if the letter could be done by a Chiro and she was confused as to what letter I was talking about… when I told her she said that that is what the Civil office often tells people but that there is NO law about it… she then said that all I have to do is after the birth to give them a call, talk to the supervisor right away and tell them that I just gave birth at home and that I would like a “declaration solonelle”… they will just ask about the date, time and sex of the baby and then send it to me, I then fill it out and send it back and that is it…
She then said that if I have problems because it is rare and the officers are often mis/non informed on the subject that they have a few people that they know well at the Civil office that will help out no prob!!!

So I don’t need to see an sOB!!!! I can just concentrate on the babe growing inside me and there has been a big weight lifted off my shoulders!!!

YAY!!!!

First…

I don’t rememeber how I found the e-mail address but I found an e-mail address a woman that gives information about homebirthing in Quebec. I e-mailed her a few weeks ago with questions about how to go about registering a birth after a UP/UC…

Well she finally e-mailed me back (I had even forgotten about having sent that e-mail) and gave me the info and will be sending me the forms that I will need…

• The first thing I have to do is fill out the declaration of birth alone “”Déclaration Solonnelle”
• Send that with a photocopy of a confirmation that I am indeed pregnant (ultrasound, bloodwork or letter signed by a doctor) and a photocopy of a letter from a doctor stating that they saw the baby

So, now the dilhema of getting that confirmation that I am indeed pregnant.. well, I e-mailed her back asking if it could be a Chiro that signs the letter… and I hope she says yes because the alternative is to go see an OB and that is the last thing that I want to do… However, If I do have to go see an OB for that letter then I would want to get it over with as soon as possible. For one reason… I think that there will be less questions etc because I still technically have time before the birth to find someone and I could just say that… my mostly because I just would want to get it over with if that is what I have to do…

The other thing is that in the last few days the babe has moved and is in a position that I am not used to… I have been measuring myself for a few weeks now and was measuring right on target.. now all of a sudden I am measuring about 6 weeks ahead, there is a big space between the babe and the pelvic bone and the fundus is no longer just above my belly button but is quite high above it… I have a feeling that babe is transverse for now but it was just surprising for me when I felt that difference…

I had not called the birthing center yet, I was still debating it and pretty much just not thinking of it… Well, this morning they called me to see what was happening… I talked to the head midwife and told her that I really wanted to have a homebirth and that I was wondering if I could go for just a few appointments… She said that it takes up too much time and resources and they wil not take me if I am not planning to give birth there…So the decision has been made for me… I will not be seeing a midwife at all, I am in my own care for the pregnancy and birth.

I feel the need to get things in order before the birth too… I still have time but I want to have all of the paperwork and everything ready so that I have no running around to do after. I think that I will need to go see someone to get a signature to confirm that I was indeed pregnant… and then the other stuff I just need to figure out how it all works…

There are two alternative birthing resource centers in Montreal that give info on birthing, give Doula info etc and that could probably help me figure out what to do but they are both closed until late August… so for now, I will just keep growing the babe, keep an eye on how I am feeling and start prepaing things for the birth…

I went to a few “Devil stores” (Walmart) to see if they had the fishy kiddie pool (since all of the other stores don’t have any) and it seems that they don’t carry kiddie pools anymore but just the bigger temporary pools… weird… or maybe I was just too late in the season…. So I am still concidering the “La Bassine” pool…

All in all, I am looking forward to my UC… I can’t wait to labour at home and just let things progress normally and naturally in my own surroundings, in the place I know and feel the most comfortable in…

x-posted in my pregnancy journal

Well… I am a bit more then 20 weeks pregnant and today is the day that I could call the midwife center in Nicolet… I am still debating it though…

I went to the Chiro last week and she is also pregnant and about a week or two further then me and she called and got a place right away, maybe she took the last place, maybe not… but I am a bit scared of going, yet I still have fears at times and want to go see the midwifes just to check things out… not really now… but near the end…

But I also don’t to have to fight for what I want and what I need for the pregnancy and labour… I love going unassisted and I love the planning of having an unassisted birth… Like I have mentioned in the last post about this… I am scared of pressure, I am scared of this birth becoming medicalized… If I go I would make it clear that I am looking towards an unhindered/unassisted birth.. if a midwife was to be present she would not be in the same room as I when giving birth… however, I am scared that the presense of such a person would hinder the mood and the sanctity that I am looking for…

Today is the day that I should have called if that is what I wanted to do… I still have time but I don’t have the heart…