First…

I don’t rememeber how I found the e-mail address but I found an e-mail address a woman that gives information about homebirthing in Quebec. I e-mailed her a few weeks ago with questions about how to go about registering a birth after a UP/UC…

Well she finally e-mailed me back (I had even forgotten about having sent that e-mail) and gave me the info and will be sending me the forms that I will need…

• The first thing I have to do is fill out the declaration of birth alone “”Déclaration Solonnelle”
• Send that with a photocopy of a confirmation that I am indeed pregnant (ultrasound, bloodwork or letter signed by a doctor) and a photocopy of a letter from a doctor stating that they saw the baby

So, now the dilhema of getting that confirmation that I am indeed pregnant.. well, I e-mailed her back asking if it could be a Chiro that signs the letter… and I hope she says yes because the alternative is to go see an OB and that is the last thing that I want to do… However, If I do have to go see an OB for that letter then I would want to get it over with as soon as possible. For one reason… I think that there will be less questions etc because I still technically have time before the birth to find someone and I could just say that… my mostly because I just would want to get it over with if that is what I have to do…

The other thing is that in the last few days the babe has moved and is in a position that I am not used to… I have been measuring myself for a few weeks now and was measuring right on target.. now all of a sudden I am measuring about 6 weeks ahead, there is a big space between the babe and the pelvic bone and the fundus is no longer just above my belly button but is quite high above it… I have a feeling that babe is transverse for now but it was just surprising for me when I felt that difference…

I had not called the birthing center yet, I was still debating it and pretty much just not thinking of it… Well, this morning they called me to see what was happening… I talked to the head midwife and told her that I really wanted to have a homebirth and that I was wondering if I could go for just a few appointments… She said that it takes up too much time and resources and they wil not take me if I am not planning to give birth there…So the decision has been made for me… I will not be seeing a midwife at all, I am in my own care for the pregnancy and birth.

I feel the need to get things in order before the birth too… I still have time but I want to have all of the paperwork and everything ready so that I have no running around to do after. I think that I will need to go see someone to get a signature to confirm that I was indeed pregnant… and then the other stuff I just need to figure out how it all works…

There are two alternative birthing resource centers in Montreal that give info on birthing, give Doula info etc and that could probably help me figure out what to do but they are both closed until late August… so for now, I will just keep growing the babe, keep an eye on how I am feeling and start prepaing things for the birth…

I went to a few “Devil stores” (Walmart) to see if they had the fishy kiddie pool (since all of the other stores don’t have any) and it seems that they don’t carry kiddie pools anymore but just the bigger temporary pools… weird… or maybe I was just too late in the season…. So I am still concidering the “La Bassine” pool…

All in all, I am looking forward to my UC… I can’t wait to labour at home and just let things progress normally and naturally in my own surroundings, in the place I know and feel the most comfortable in…

x-posted in my pregnancy journal

Well… I am a bit more then 20 weeks pregnant and today is the day that I could call the midwife center in Nicolet… I am still debating it though…

I went to the Chiro last week and she is also pregnant and about a week or two further then me and she called and got a place right away, maybe she took the last place, maybe not… but I am a bit scared of going, yet I still have fears at times and want to go see the midwifes just to check things out… not really now… but near the end…

But I also don’t to have to fight for what I want and what I need for the pregnancy and labour… I love going unassisted and I love the planning of having an unassisted birth… Like I have mentioned in the last post about this… I am scared of pressure, I am scared of this birth becoming medicalized… If I go I would make it clear that I am looking towards an unhindered/unassisted birth.. if a midwife was to be present she would not be in the same room as I when giving birth… however, I am scared that the presense of such a person would hinder the mood and the sanctity that I am looking for…

Today is the day that I should have called if that is what I wanted to do… I still have time but I don’t have the heart…

Well, the 20 week mark is fast approaching and it is the time that I will be able to call the birthing center in Nicolet and see if I am able to see a midwife… however, over the last few months I have grown not only to accept that I might be going unassisted, but I it has become a goal and what I want the most.

I am still debating if I will call the birthing center, I no longer beleive that it is what is best for me. I no longer want any kind of intervention. I don’t need that support especially now that I know that the midwifes here in Quebec are truly “Medwifes”… If I do call, I would go into the first appointment and address at that moment that I will be having a homebirth and there is no way that I would go to the birthing center to give birth. Since they are too far for a homebirth to be concidered, that would leave me in the position to have a UC anyways… If they decide to make an exception and come here, then I would have them understand that I want an unhindered birth and they would not be allowed to do any kind of monitoring and will not be present for the actual birth… However, just the presence is enough to turn me off and make me uncomfortable… I WANT to be alone…

I know that this conversation would not go over well with a medwife… I don’t want to deal with anyone talking down to me because they don’t agree with/don’t understand what I need… I am feeling more and more that I don’t want to even try to see a midwife….

A part of me wants to go for a few prenatal appointments however so this is the factor that is making this decision a bit hard…

My journey started out with a choice being made for me because a sOB is never a choice IMO…. however, now not only do I feel comfortable wth my decision it has become my ultimate goal…

I need to have an unhindered and unassisted birth. I need to bring this child into the world into the safest and more comfortable atmosphere which is our own home…

x-posted in my journal

At points I realize how different my children’s childhoods will be different then my own…

On the Mothering boards recently there was a post that made me think about the liberties we had as children that many children may no longer experience. The original post was a mom that was outraged by a child playing alone at the park without any adult supervision. At one point the boy’s mom checks in with the boy and he comes back saying he has another 20 min… the boy was about 7 years old.

Some other parents were also outraged on the thread… however, some it was for the fact that the boy was left alone saying that the mom saying that she is irresponsible and “depending on other parents” to watch over her son, “what if something happened?” etc , others was for the fact that we are so much in a fear based society that we see it as “criminal” for a 7 year old to be playing in the park by himself.

I was lucky living in the mountains, able to run, walk and hide in the forest, leave for hours at a time checking in with mom for lunch and then for supper. Even when we lived in the city I was able to leave home and have adventures as long as I didn’t cross any major street, at 5 I was taking the city bus to school alone. With one place we lived, with a slight detour under the bridge that housed the highway that went through town, I could go to the park, the beach, the mall and basically cross the whole town by crossing only one small street… My mom had no problem that I did such.

I was a child in the early 80’s. At that time there was not less crime or less dangers then there are today… there was however, less fear.

When I was a child, it was normal for a 7 year old to go to the park by themselves. It was normal to ride your bike to your friends house even blocks away. It was normal to go to the store to pick up milk and other things for your mom, or go buy candies and treats even though it was a good walk to the store. Now however, it seems what is normal has changed. Parents seem to be scared to let their children explore since they have been fed horror stories and fear based news. The “what if’s” seem to overrule the trust in the child. I do understand that there are some kids that at 7 and not as mature as other, however, I really think that the problem is based in the fear that parents have.

Now it is the norm to have scheduled play dates and activities. Have a full schedule with a parent bringing them everywhere or staying at home and doing nothing but play video games or ride their bikes in the driveway. Children are taught to fear the world and are not taught to take care of them selves. They are not given the independence they need and crave in order to grow. It seems so contradictory especially since most of these parents believe that children must be forced into independence as babies.

I really think that if you teach a child that they are always safe at home and give them strong and trusting foundation, that in turn you teach a child how to take care of themselves and they know when to come back home in a situation that may not feel right. I think that we must talk to them about our fears (not in a way to scare them but to make them aware and make sure that they will know what to do in situations), show them that we trust them to make the right decisions because they will then want to keep that trust and will do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. I refuse to teach my children to not talk to strangers (how will they learn to make friends?) however I will teach them limits.

I refuse to shelter my children from the world and I will not hide things from them. However, I will not teach then with fear and instead show them how to deal with situations that may arise.

Though my children’s childhoods will be different from my own, I do not want it to be as different as others are making it. I think the major difference will be in the way that others perceive the independence instead of the independence itself.

Well… I talked to the head midwife and she said that the other midwives see no problem on seeing me only at 20 weeks if I am accepted then….

So I have to call in July (the 5th to be exact ??) and they will tell me if they have space for me… I told her that I really am OK with going solo and told her that I am going to keep an eye on things and she thought that it was really cool… I told her sorry for last week and told her that I really didn’t want to put her in a rough place, it was just that I really am OK with a UP and she said that there wasn’t a problem and she became really friendly…

Well, this afternoon I have to call the Birthing Center in Nicolet (the one that put me on the waiting list) to see what if I will be able to see someone at least once. Like I explained here the head midwife is going to ask if someone can see me once before 20 weeks. They have their weekly meeting this morning so she will be able to tell me this afternoon. I tried to call her yesterday to say that I hadn’t wanted to put her between a rock and a hard spot last week when I told her that if they couldn’t take me then I would be going unassisted…and that I really was OK with itand was ready to do so… but she wasn’t there.

I think that I would like to go for a sonogram like I did with the boys at around 20 weeks… It wasn’t really the fact that I wanted to see if everything is ok (though that is a bonus) it was just amazing that we could look inside and see our baby… it just made it even more “real” (for Simon also)….

Even if I don’t get in with the midwives I think I will seek one out anyways..

Ughh….I hate waiting…

Thinking about it more and more…I think that I am very ready and happy to be going Unassisted throughout the pregnancy…

I am not the kind of person that will get scared by going unassisted. It will more likely make me feel like I have more control over the whole situation, resulting in an ever more empowering pregnancy and birth, which I truly believe is something that Women have lost with such medicalized births.
I will also be starting a Pregnancy journal to record the pregnancy. It truly is the beginning of a new journey
OH… We told the boys yesterday morning when we saw the line come up on the test… I explained that first the leaves will come back on the trees, then it will be summer and Xavier’s Birthday, then Colin’s Birthday, then the leaves will fall and it will be Hallo’een and then the baby will be here… Xavier’s Response? “I want a lot, a lot of Candy” (for Hallo’een)