But I think the idea that “feminist” women have to work for “independence” is outdated. I know many of my feminist sisters don’t work, and I have no issue with that. I think people need to do what is right for them and their families.

At one time, I thought I HAD to work. But deep down, I know I don’t exactly have to. But in my view, choosing not to work would have consequences that I don’t think are best for my family. Working opens up choices to me and my family that I would not have otherwise. And there are some things about work that I actually like.

But it does also involve some loss. It pains me to be away from my children. If I had to put them in day care, I might choose not to work even though I would face some unhappy consequences (such as less choice about where I live). But because their grandmother cares for them, because I work part time, because I don’t have to return to work with a 3-month old baby, and because of the extra benefits that we get from my job, I figure that working part time is the best choice for my family.

For other people, the factors add up to a different “best” decision. That’s not to say that I am not sometimes critical of the choices other women make; I generally think a woman who has children and then leaves them almost entirely in the care of others is not doing a good thing for her kids.

I also think some people are unwilling to sacrifice some of their own preferences for the sake of their children, and that’s sad (I’m thinking of parents who insist on buying expensive status symbol objects, and then claiming that both spouses must work for the family to get by).

Anyway, I enjoyed the article, and I am glad to have learned so much about unschooling from your blog. I’m thinking about it for my own little ones.