Comments on: the “rules” of the park…. http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/ My journey through motherhood being a black sheep in the parenting world... Fri, 29 Aug 2008 01:22:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: msaraann http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-821 msaraann Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:12:22 +0000 http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-821 Your story reminds me of the way my mother-in-law interacts with my kids. I sometimes wonder if her mind isn't constantly thinking up new criticisms and negative evaluations of their every behavior. The guidance she gives them doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And I wonder if she enjoys spending time with them at all. Visits with her include a continuous stream of "Don't do that," "Do it this way," "That's wrong," and worst of all, she includes, "People won't like you if . . . " My conclusion is that she, and most of members of this society, believe that children must suffer under constant "guidance" or direction, under constant control even if arbitrary, in order to mature into adults. For my part, if I can't think up a seriously good reason to say "No," then I step back and reserve my initial inclination to say it. Your story reminds me of the way my mother-in-law interacts with my kids. I sometimes wonder if her mind isn’t constantly thinking up new criticisms and negative evaluations of their every behavior. The guidance she gives them doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. And I wonder if she enjoys spending time with them at all. Visits with her include a continuous stream of “Don’t do that,” “Do it this way,” “That’s wrong,” and worst of all, she includes, “People won’t like you if . . . ”

My conclusion is that she, and most of members of this society, believe that children must suffer under constant “guidance” or direction, under constant control even if arbitrary, in order to mature into adults.

For my part, if I can’t think up a seriously good reason to say “No,” then I step back and reserve my initial inclination to say it.

]]> By: creepyUCmama http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-806 creepyUCmama Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:24:04 +0000 http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-806 I don't get it either but I've experiences "the look" I think I've unfortunatley give "the look" too but usually only when some parent completely ignored their child when they came up and did something pretty awful. Like the time a dad ignored when his 6 year old came up and put his hands around my baby's throat and choked him...I was pretty mad. But at the park, I tend to let Gage run around and explore and unless he's hurting another child I like to leave him free to do his own thing. I don’t get it either but I’ve experiences “the look” I think I’ve unfortunatley give “the look” too but usually only when some parent completely ignored their child when they came up and did something pretty awful. Like the time a dad ignored when his 6 year old came up and put his hands around my baby’s throat and choked him…I was pretty mad. But at the park, I tend to let Gage run around and explore and unless he’s hurting another child I like to leave him free to do his own thing.

]]> By: anita http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-804 anita Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:33:17 +0000 http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-804 I have a friend who would never let her kids play in the dirt, never let them play behind the furniture (like "houses"), never let them do anything that wasn't "by the rules"... I never understood that... Children use their imaginations to learn... I have a friend who would never let her kids play in the dirt, never let them play behind the furniture (like “houses”), never let them do anything that wasn’t “by the rules”… I never understood that… Children use their imaginations to learn…

]]> By: Dirkey http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-801 Dirkey Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:40:16 +0000 http://paxye.com/blog/the-rules-of-the-park/#comment-801 Thats just ridiculous. Thats just ridiculous.

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